I honestly do not know where to start. I guess this picture is a pretty good spot. I will try my best to share this with you all.
Tuesday October 8th was a busy day for me. My friend stopped by to help us do some unpacking and then my "cousin" Mindy showed up to help also. (for those wondering about the move I will maybe attempt that in another post for now if you want our new address email me addisonsmommyatgmaildotcom) We got stuff done and lots of talking (it had been a rough few weeks up to this point.) We were talking about how things had been rough but things were going to turn around. Little did I know. Later that evening I had a really good talk with my friend, as I was talking to her my other friend called in and Davis left for basketball. Not long after leaving Davis returned sat on the couch and told me we had to talk. There was a "look" and a "tone" so I got off the phone with my friend. I won't go into detail but it was a moment I will not forget. He informed me that his youngest brother (one of the twins) was just hit with a car while riding a bike on his mission.....the shock at hearing that he was dead was immense. I felt for a moment that this could not be happening. Wasn't my life all ready falling apart with the tragedy of Lexi and our home situation. I think I went completely numb at this point. There were no tears no words, nothing. I quickly made a phone call to our friend Sam, who promptly came to watch the sleeping babes.
Davis had left with his brother Andy to go to his parents. I sat with Sam in shock for a few minutes. We caught the news (ugh that was hard....even harder now weeks later, when we watch DVR and at the end of our shows we see the BREAKING NEWS!) The doorbell rang and Bishop and Brough were there. I left to go to Davis' parents....that drive was a blurr. I was still in shock. Before I left Davis called checking on where I was at, on my way he called checking on where I was at. I turned down his parents street and all of a sudden thought, "Where am I?!" It was weird. I finally got there and Mckell got up and gave me a big hug. I couldn't hold the tears back. It's sad because she was the first one to get me to cry when Addison died. I hugged Andy (big tears) and then Andy and Heidi left to go get Jeff in Provo. Davis's Dad filled us in with what he knew and we all just kind of talked about different things. Finally the time came to make the call to Scott. (I get teary just thinking about it.) Davis' parents were on the phone, the mission president was supposed to go over and have Scott call us. It was horrible hearing the screams on the other end of the phone. I had to walk out. At that point some people had showed up and I stopped them at the door and told them that everyone was busy on the phone with Scott. Kiersti then showed up and eventually the call with Scott was over. Soon Jeff and Andy showed and we were as complete as we could be. It was nice to have everyone there, it felt really good. Scott eventually called back and talked to all the siblings and he seemed to be past the shock. All he could think about was coming home. That night was super busy with phone calls and visitors. Davis's Dad was off and on the phone to the hospital answering questions and getting info. They had decided to donate Trevor's organs...what an amazing thing. We heard different things about the accident and now that time has passed, we know that Trevor was hit first and was thrown pretty far. Elder Walker was hit next and then Elder Harris. Elder Harris says that he woke next to Elder Walker and he was dead. He then saw people a ways off and assumed that is where Trevor was. Trevor lived until he got to the hospital or close to that, so they were able to keep things going for organ donations. We ended up staying until around 2 or so. We headed home to relieve my parents who had come to relieve Sam. I guess when they got ot our house Sam was there, Bishop, Brough and Erica were all there. Ahhh the love. Let's just say we didn't sleep much that night. I was a little concerned with how I was going to tell my kids the next day. I finally fell asleep and woke to the phone ringing about 6.
Wednesday, November 9th, it was Scott he couldn't sleep and he only had Davis' number memorized. So they talked for a little while and Davis gave him his siblings numbers. The little ones woke up next, so I had them watch tv and went and got Tanner up. I told him to come to our room. We told him and he seemed okay. We then brought the other kids up and told them and they too seemed okay. I think they really didn't fully understand. We told them they weren't going to school and that we were heading to Grandma and Grandpa's. They had a blast playing with the cousins. This was also my brothers birthday (he passed away 8 years ago) it was weird to think that my brother was in heaven and now Trevor. I have to say I was super calm and comforted through all of this. I think because I had dealt with so many other deaths, this one was just different for me. That day was just weird, we had no answers, our phones and facebooks were being blown away with messages, and we were all in shock and uncertain of how to move ahead. My sister in law Heidi was thinking better than us all (her dad is a mortician so I think she has a different mind set.) She was setting up a banner for Scott since he was coming home that night and sent the boys to the store to buy some of Scott's favorite things. She wanted his homecoming to be as normal and nice as possible. I headed home with the kids at one point to do naps, get dinner (we had dinner coming in from my dinner group) and I also had parent teacher conferences to worry about. My parents were there so I sent my Dad and Tanner to buy balloons for the airport and I ran to the school to see if I could sneak in and do my pt's early. I was able to catch Tanner's teacher and Matt's teacher. Ady's was super far behind so I rescheduled with her. I hurried home for dinner and off to the airport. It was sad to see another family there welcoming their son home from a mission. They were all smiles and hugs we were tears and hugs. It was so nice to have Scott home but so difficult to see him under these circumstances. We headed to Davis' parents house and waited for Scott to get released and come home. It was nice to sit and chat while we waited. When he got back it was full of laughter and tears, joy and sorrow. It was wonderful to have the family all back together. We planned to meet at the mortuary the next day.
Thursday 10 am we met Davis' family at the mortuary (all but Scott). This was especially hard for me because this is the same mortuary we had to go to for Addison. I had a hard time pushing the memories from my mind. I think because I was trying so hard to keep things under control I was super numb. The meeting was a bit of a blur, I wasn't sure what to say or do. It was hard not to think of my brother a bit and I kept wondering if it would be an open or closed casket. I was so hoping to see Trevor. When my brother died (he was also hit by a car) it was closed but I insisted on being able to see him. So they opened it before the funeral for me and others that wanted to see him. Well, soon my questions were answered, as we walked into the room with all the caskets, Heidi's dad told us that he had talked to the mortician in Texas (Trevor had to be embalmed before he could be transported back) and he said it would most likely be closed casket. Davis' family fell apart, it was so sad to see, I was still trying to hold it all in. We finished making all the arrangements we could and had decided on a viewing Tuesday, funeral Wednesday. I was so happy it wasn't Monday, since that was Bennett's birthday. We went to lunch, Scott met us there. After lunch we headed down to Alpine to visit with Davis' Grandma and figure out the plot info since that is where they were burying him, near Grandpa. Davis and I couldn't stay long since our kids were at school and we needed to get back before they got home. We were so blessed to have so many friends to help at this time. My parents could help a little but with them being further away and having other obligations, it was nice to have others to help out. The rest of our evening was pretty crazy with homework and my other mom Leslie had come over to help me make an invite for a bridal shower we were doing. It had to get done and despite the stress and tragedy it was nice to do it. She stayed with the kids so Davis and I could go to Ady's parent teacher conference and that was needed. (no comment) Davis later went to play basketball with his brothers. It was a neat experience. Davis, Andy, Jeff and Scott started the game out just the 4 of them (they left a spot open for Trevor) they then let others play. It was neat because (I might get the numbers wrong) but they scored 32 points in each half, Trevor's number when he played ball for school. I heard it was a neat tribute, I was sad I missed it.
Friday:
We sent the kids to school, Warren to Angie's and Amy took Matt and got him off to school for us. We went to Davis' parents and had to write up the obituary and collect pictures for the video. Then I headed to Inkley's with Kiersti and the girls for pictures. We found out late Thursday that the church needed us to move the viewing to Sunday and the funeral to Monday (bummer, we were rushed and it was Bennett's birthday...oh well.) We were very fortunate that Inkley's had Trevor's mission pictures and the photographer was able to clean them up really nice (the original photographer made them a bit blurry and since we wanted a huge picture to display at the viewing/funeral, blurry would not do.) The guy we met with was amazing, he was so kind and thoughtful and gave us a great deal on all the pictures we got. We had also found out on Thursday that Trevor's body would arrive in SL friday evening around 6. On Tuesday I told everyone that Davis and I were planning a temple session friday and anyone that wanted to come could. Two of Davis siblings had to rush to get recommends renewed since they had just expired a few days earlier. Fortunately it worked out and all of Davis' siblings (minus Mckell, she's not endowed yet.) and his parents were able to meet us at the temple friday night. We got into a super small session, there were probably only about 15 other people besides us. This was a bit sad for us since the last time we were all together in the temple, was when the twins went through before their missions. Let's just say it was an amazing spiritual experience that I will never forget. After, we met up with McKell for dinner. It was nice to include her in this part since she isn't able to go to the temple yet.
Saturday we used as a wind down family day. We just hung out and got things done at home, since there was still plenty of unpacking to do. We didn't know but everyone else headed to Davis' parents since Trevor's stuff had arrived and his mission president's wife had shown up. Davis went over later to help with some stuff when he found out, but he missed a lot of it.
Sunday we had McKell and Alex, Scott and Davis' parents come to our ward for the primary program. It was neat and nice to have them there with us. Later we met at the mortuary with Davis family. It was a special time for us. We were able to see Trevor (since it was closed casket) and see the video they had prepared. All I can say is the music and pictures were amazing. I know it was a lot of work and I am grateful my sister in law took the time and effort to get it all done...you are awesome Kierst!!! This opportunity to see him was wonderful to me. It brings a sense of closure and reality. (But I do have to say most of the time it still doesn't seem real, since he was gone for two years. It's weird, in my mind he is and will always be in Texas.) It was hard to see his body but nice knowing his spirit was no longer there. I am so glad I got the opportunity.
We then went back to Davis' parents for food and prep work for the viewing. Let's just say the viewing was full of tears, lots of laughter at least on the siblings side and tired feet. That place was packed and I am so glad I was able to wander and not be stuck talking to people. :) At some point I went and pulled a bunch of our friends and brought them to Davis since they had all ready waited 2 hours....ouch! The viewing was scheduled from 6-8 people started showing up around 5:40 and we didn't see the last people until 10:30 it was amazing. I had a really fun experience that I will share. I always think it's so interesting how peopleend up knowing people you know. Close to the end I was standing in the hall next to this really cute guy (no he wasn't my hubby but he was cute.) Some how we started talking and he happened to be there with his girlfriend who was a friend of Trevor's from high school. I knew her because her name is Adylin (spelled the same as our Ady) she taught my kids swim lessons at Kearns and she was a good friend from high schools little sister (though I didn't know this until I saw her sister at one of the swim practices.) Anyway, we were just chatting about missions and such, well, he ends up being the cousin of one of Davis' mission companions, whom I adore. He and his wife live in AZ so we never get to see them, but we love them and if they lived closer they would seriously be one of our closest friends. I had to pull Davis since it was such a fun coincidence. Davis had fun talking to him for a few minutes.
Also while I was in the hall a group of people came out together. One of them stopped me and asked how I was related. I told him and he was so sweet. He was from Texas and adored Trevor. He was with a bunch of returned missionaries from Trevor's mission. I do have to say this was one of the most tender moments for me. To hug and meet people that had seen Trevor more recently than I had was so sweet and emotional. The other touching people for me were meeting those parents of missionaries that were still out in Trevor's mission and meeting his past mission president and his current president's wife. Very emotional meetings for me.
Now for Monday. The morning came and we had decided to send Warren and Bennett to Erica's, Tanner had gone with my parents and Matthew had decided not to go to the funeral, so he also went to Erica's and then to school. We got ready (including Ady) and headed to the church for a everything. We started out with the immediate family and had a prayer. Then another viewing started and was packed, I am still overwhelmed with the people that showed up. Elder Russell M Nelson was there and he came in to meet the family before the family prayer. It was pretty awesome. Elder Zwick was there too. (side note, I first met Elder Zwick in August when he sealed my cousin. He is my Aunt's husband's cousin. After the wedding we went to pick up our kids and Davis was telling the people that babysat our kids what an amazing sealing it was and that if he didn't know better he would've thought the sealer was an apostle. I turned to him and said, he is. I then explained to him who he was.) Anyway, so it was nice to see him again and talked to him for a few minutes and to also see Elder Nelson. After they left we had the family prayer and went out for the funeral. Can I just say this funeral was by far the best funeral I have ever been to (and I've been to plenty.) The spirit was so strong and the messages shared were so wonderful. I am so impressed and proud of my in-laws. All of the siblings spoke and did a great job. I loved how each of them had a unique relationship with Trevor and each of their own personalities came out in each talk. It was cool. Davis' group (Kords) and his Dad's group sang. Davis' dad spoke and he read the last entry in Trevor's journal two days before he died he put. I love being a missionary. He also shared a bit of a letter that a sister had written about the day Trevor died. It happened to be a huge mission meeting where the missionaries spent all day together with the mission president. She saw Trevor and commented that he was going home soon. (He was originally scheduled to come home Dec. 3 but had extended his mission to just before Thanksgiving.) He told her "A few weeks a few months a few years....I am going to be a missionary forever." He died that day and extended his mission forever! After Gordon spoke Elder Nelson spoke. He shared some great words and insight. It was wonderful. Then about 50 returned missionaries from the McAllen Texas mission sang Called to Serve in both english and spanish it was amazing. I will never be able to hear that song the same again. I will never forget, there were two polynesians standing next to the casket and after the song as everyone was walking back each one took a moment, put their hands on the casket and then wiped a tear away. I cry just thinking about it. My brother in law gave an amazing closing prayer and then the brothers as pallbearers took the casket out. As we walked out, Elder Nelson, Elder Zwick and the other representative stood to greet us and gave us each a huge hug. When I got to Zwick he gave me an extra squeeze and said, "I am so happy we are family!" It was cute.
We then headed down to Alpine where he is buried close to Grandpa Strong.
So that's the story for now. There's more I can add, but I am content. Here are a few pictures of Trevor. Man I am going to miss this guy. I met Trevor when he was about 10. I still remember taking the twins and Mckell bowling our first real hangout/meet. They all sat in the back, McKell and Trevor super shy....Scott, not so much. As we bowled Scott was always getting my ball for me, talking to me and just being Scott. The other two were super shy and quiet. I will never forget those cute faces. It didn't take long for all of them to warm up and we had those 3 all of the time. They would have sleepovers and swim at our apartment. We saw them even more when we had Tanner and lived in Tuscany. They used to babysit Tanner all the time, especially in the summer. As they got older Trevor and Scott were always coming over to hang out and play games. They would play basketball and football with Davis....we saw these boys ALL THE TIME!!! It was super weird when they left on their missions. There truly was a void in our lives. I gradually got used to it and was super busy with all my kids. I am sad I didn't write them more. But I really miss having Trevor home. I looked forward to the few weeks of him being home before Scott. I looked forward to hearing about his mission and seeing the growth in his life. I will miss him more than words can express. Mindy gave us all a tile that reads "What a beautiful difference one single life made." That is so true. My life has forever been blessed and changed because I knew Trevor.
By Handsome Boy......Can't wait to see you again and spend forever with you.
