Spirited

So I have a new book I am reading and I am pretty excited about it. It's called "Raising a spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It starts off by talking about how you view and "label" your children. Difficult is the most common way to describe this child.....my most difficult child will not be named here but I am sure you ALL know who she is. This type of child can be frustrating, irritating, loud, disobedient, demanding, nosy, and never stops. All very appealing "labels", huh?!?! Makes you want a child just liek her right? This child is also a source of contention in your life, it's embarrassing to have a child like this. It's embarrassing and frustrating to get a call from said child's teacher telling you how disruptive they are in class (multiple calls I should say.) It's embarrassing to have a friend whose child is in your child's class call and tell you that their child says your child is naughty in class, to go to a family party and have your nephew inform you how naughty your child is in class (since they are in the same class.) LIke I said, you all want this child in your family right?!?!!? So this book I am reading says the first step with spirited children is to realize you aren't a bad parent (despite the little and not so little comments people make to you)....that the child is born this way and there are ways to improve this child's self esteem and behaviors. She also says that you first need to recognize the characteristics that this child has that drive you crazy or in other words how you "label" this child and how others "label" this child. You are then supposed to take those not so mice labels and give them a more positive spin. So my loud child is actually enthusiastic and zestful...... demanding.....holds high standards, energetic, perceptive and creative....all words that describe this child and you are more likely to like this child now. Just learning this small thing makes me happier to be around this child. I've also learned that this child is not difficult, she is spirited which means she is more intense, perceptive, energetic and persistent. All great qualities, just in large doses. I also took a "test" to see where her temperment lies in different areas so I can focus on the areas that need focusing. What I concluded is she scores HIGH is areas such as intensity, sensitivity, perceptiveness and energy. She is mild to high in persistence and generally in a good mood. I also got to take a test that told me that some of the areas she scored high in are areas that drive me crazy since I score lower in those areas and higher in others. So in other words we clash in certain areas. Let's just say it's been nice to recognize some of these things. I am only on chapter 5 so I don't have a ton of answers yet, but it's been a good read so far. Now for answers and implementing. The other thing I have enjoyed about this book is...even though my other children aren't neccessarily spirited, they have "labels", temperaments and ways of getting and draining energy (that's for another post)....so this book should help with the other kids too and to teach them how to get along a little better....or I can hope.